its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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