she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
