Grow some girl-balls and come out already
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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