I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize