so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My underwear smells like fireworks.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Randomize
