with your own penis?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
