I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize