Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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