how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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