its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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