oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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