Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The ass gains better be worth it
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