Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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