I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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