How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
