If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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