His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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