dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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