the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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