Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
