I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
