Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well I just put wine in my tea
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
