i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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