my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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