Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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