her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize