Non-Jews are for practice
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
