He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
