I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
