If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
