there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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