I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
