I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
its liver damage thursday
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
