a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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