21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
