I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
