Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
