Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
