end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
