Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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