So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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