I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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