He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
