It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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