Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
