Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
