Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
