he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
