he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
