Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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