Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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