Its about making memories worth repressing
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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