A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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