No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
