LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
