oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
