he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
