What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
