I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize