hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
