I look better un-naked...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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