it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
