oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
