I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
