well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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