some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
