I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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