If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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