we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
