Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
