Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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